MaKe a cHaNgE AnD bRaG it Up

Thanks for the idea Brit, I actually really like the idea of acknowledging the things about myself that I dont like because then im more likely to change them or do something about them. I dont like calling it "10 Things I DoNt LiKe about myself" so I prefer to think about it as "10 Things That Id Like to Change about myself".
And isnt it interesting that it is so difficult for us to acknowledge or be proud of the things that we do like about ourselves. Like making a list of 10 is the most difficult thing to do. Ladies we should be looking at ourselves and leading with pros and not cons. I am guilty of this as well. What is it? Are we truly so insecure or do we feel like its just going to be seen as "bragging" or "showing off".  Just wondering.
So here it is........

10 tHiNgS id LikE to ChaNgE:
Lack of motivation to work out - Maybe its because im pregnant, but I have no desire to get my butt out and exercise. I used to be so good about going to the gym. Now I feel like all I do is complain that im so out of shape, but still do nothing about it. Pregnant is no excuse, I should still have a muscle % higher than zero.
Very cynical - I dont feel like this is something that has always been a problem, but has become one since I have been a dispatcher. I hear the worst from the worst on a daily basis and it gets really hard to see the good in people. I notice it and Rick notices it and this is a big reason that quitting came so easily to me. Dont get me wrong, when I do have the opportunity to actually help that mother whose baby isnt breathing or ease the old woman whose husband wont wake up or calm the young girl who is home alone and thinks someone is in the house (I have vivid memory of each), it is worth it. When I get these call and I can help someone I am so glad that I could be here to make a difference. But there are just way too many of the other calls, it does not balance out.
Gossip - Even if it is just catching up with the girls, getting "the scoop" it is not ok. Sometimes it feels like its just harmless, but it never is. I feel like when I get very wrapped up in it, I dont notice the negativity that starts to come through it. I feel worse after saying it and I feel worse after hearing it.
Cooking for my family - I am actually super excited to be a stay at home mom so that I can start Meal Planning and have dinner ready at night to have together as a family. Some of you may not know this about me, but I am ok with being domestic. I love cleaning and doing laundry and I really love to cook (when it actually turns out) I am ok with the old fashioned idea of a woman taking care of her home while her husband goes to work. I do wish that I was better at it. Hopefully I will get better with practice. Rick is so good, he is a sport to try it no matter what.
Being serious - I watch Rick sometimes and I really admire that he can be so silly and fun. He and Kastle have the best time doing nothing. I want to be more silly. Have I lost the ability to? I feel like I've lost myself in schedules and tasks. Is it more important to make the bed or tickle my little boy in it? Is it more important to be picking up toys or sitting on the floor playing with them? Every mom that just read this knows exactly what im saying.
Exterior upkeep - Im not saying that I should spend so much time primping myself, but I do feel like I've let myself become lazy in that area. Poor Rick and poor me. It feels good to be put together. I would like to put more effort into having my hair done and make up on at minimum. Even further, painting my nails and keeping up on some sort of tan. Hopefully a little bit of Spring Fever will kick me into gear.
Interior upkeep - I need to be more positive and surround myself with positive happy people. (again a reflection of the job i've had) You all know that I am not an active member in our church, but I do love and appreciate it. I am planning on involving myself more with my ward and some moms from the ward now that I wont be stuck at work on Sundays. A little bit of religion never hurt anyone.
Control freak -  I do feel like I have let go way more that I would have before I had kids. I have a hard time if Kastle is moving slower than we need to be or if Rick is in the kitchen and wants to use the metal spatula on the tephlon pan. I see my improvement but know I still have a ways to go. Dont sweat the small stuff.
My nose - Here it is, my nod to vanity. I hate my nose. I ask Rick for a nose job every Christmas (not really, but kind of) I hate how it looks in pictures. Sorry, its true.
To covet - You girls all have such darling ideas and the talent and ability to make such cute decorations for your homes. Im so jealous. I want your cute things too. ;) Everyone just start making double of everything you do so that I can have one.

10 tHinGs I LiKe abOuT mySeLf:
Ability to not care what people think - Sometimes I should probably care more, but I just dont. I can own it. If im wearing something weird or saying what I think, I just dont care if other people are on the same page. I spent too many years being insecure and I finally feel comfortable in my own skin.
Loyal - I will defend my friends and family no matter what. I am very territorial I guess. I am realizing too what makes a good friend and which ones are worth holding on to. I am also a defender of my church. Again, I am obviously not the most active, but I will stand up for my church and its people to any ignorant person.
Style - Kastle is usually done up more than me most days, I do take pride in having him look like a little man. Im also not as on the ball as I once was, but I still feel like I could put it together when I put my mind to it.
Love to travel - I really enjoy seeing beautiful and new places. I love to experience the atmosphere and try new foods. Rick has really pulled this out of me. I struck gold with him for sure.
Like a clean house - Its a pro and con obviously, but I do like that I cant stand a mess. I like to clean and love how it feels to have all the piles put away and all the beds made. Im sure this will just be one more thing that goes down hill as the number of kids goes up.
My perfectly unperfect little family - I love my silly hard working husband that brings out the best in me as a person and as a wife. I love my smart entertaining little boy that makes me want to be the best mom and best example to him. We yell and get frustrated with each other, but who doesnt. I know that no matter what, Rick has my back. I am glad he is my other half.
Making a big deal - Rick teases me that I have a party for everything, but I know he loves it too. I love to go overboard and make a fuss for things. I waited longer than I thought I would for my little family and I have no problem celebrating it. I love to throw Kastle's birthday parties and I love making sure we stay current on our family pictures. My journal is this blog and have kept it current since 2008 because I love "Us".
Organized - I like that I am most likely over prepared than under prepared. Packing for a trip, camping, even just Kastle's overnight bag, I try to make sure that I am ready for anything. I am constantly looking for ways to make traveling and living more simple and quick just by being organized. I know this has passed down to Kastle. Rick comments on it when he sees it in him.
Up for anything -  I like to think that I am pretty adventurous. One Christmas Rick surprised me with SkyDiving. Literally drove me out to the airport, walked me to the plane and said we're jumping out of this today. And I did it. I am ok to try weird foods, pick up random snakes, go bear hunting, swim with sharks or fly in a glider over Hawaii. Im sure thats why Rick and I are a great pair, he thinks it up and im up for the challenge. I do have some fears that stop me from fully jumping in, literally. I get claustrophobic so I have a hard time snorkeling, but I do it anyway. Rick is so good to pull me along.
Humble means to lavish lifestyle - Of course anyone can live it up in a fancy hotel or enjoy eating at a glamorous restaurant, but I feel like I appreciate it so much more because I was raised completely opposite. Mine was a very humble upbringing. I am so thankful for that. I can dress it up and go out on the town, but I can also still enjoy myself roughing it in a tent. {Thank you girls camp}. I love to do my hair and makeup and go all out, but I can still put on some shorts and catch frogs in the mud.